The Great American Road Trip

Another morning, another bickering start to the day. We are all anxious to get going and to be home once again. We are packed up and in the truck by 8:10 AM. Our plan is to just drive. We stop once for gas, once for a potty break, and we skip lunch – eating snacks for sustenance. We make great time. Just get home…

Somewhere around Missouri it hit me that we were basically done. There were no real set of things for us to see. Just checking off the last couple of states and getting home. Where once we had a whole country ahead of us, we now had the finish line looming over everything we did or thought about.

The last couple of weeks, while Nolan kept his ears covered by headphones, Nathan and I listened to Audible books. Secretly (or not so secretly), I am pleased that I have his attention. It makes the driving easier to have someone to talk to, or at least listen with. Today we are on our final novel: Ready Player One. If you haven’t read this, and you have great memories of growing up in the 1980’s, you will love this book. It is full of references to ’80’s pop culture: Music, movies, and most nostalgic for me (a nerd) – references to arcade games and computers of the day. For one, some of my favorite arcade games (Joust, Tempest) are front and center in the book. Then, several times in the story, there are references to what was essentially my first computer: The Atari 800. For most of the novel, I was in heaven. For my Hawai’i readers out there, there were references to Kikaida, and Ultra Man plays a huge (no pun intended) role in the story. Highly recommended by Nathan and I! And, if you’ve seen the movie, Nathan swears the book is completely different and infinitely better!

A little more than halfway home, we reach Bend, Oregon. Bend was a resort town – skiing, hiking, fishing – which has now grown into a city. There’s an interesting mix of old and new: retirees and youngsters.

On our way out of Oregon (30 days ago!), I made an observation and stored it in my memory. Now, on our way home, I decided it was perfect for our final stop on this epic trip. I pull into the parking lot, and Nolan says, “Why are we at Blockbuster?” Gleefully, I inform him, “It’s not just Blockbuster – It’s the last Blockbuster on the planet!” That’s right. The now (almost) defunct video store has dwindled down to one last store, and it is located in Bend, Oregon. Now the boys are very interested. They realize that they haven’t been in a video store in years, and it has finally dawned on them. We get out, and are almost hesitant to enter it. It’s almost like we are about to enter a museum or even creepier, a hospital room to view someone on their deathbed.

We walk in and are greeted by an employee who is busy checking in rentals, as if this was totally normal. Other employees are stocking the shelves, and a handful of people are perusing the shelves for something to watch. It’s almost as if we’ve entered a worm hole and ventured back in time. Everything looked like it always used to – or always has in this place.

Except for a display of Russell Crowe memorabilia (I honestly don’t know why it’s here), and some t-shirts (Last Blockbuster on Earth!) for sale, the place looks eerily the same. I don’t know the last time I’ve been in a Blockbuster, but I suddenly felt…at home. We looked around for a bit. There were some articles on the wall declaring that after a particular Blockbuster had closed down, the one in Bend was now the last. Another article has highlighted the owner of this Blockbuster declaring, “WE WILL NEVER CLOSE!” And then, there were the Russell Crowe items displayed behind plexiglass. Items he used or wore for such films as “Robin Hood” and “American Gangster” were there, and although cool, I never could really find out why they were here. My guess is that the owner of the store must have either a relationship with Crowe, or he is obsessed with him.

After ten minutes or so, we sign a guestbook, and walk out. Nolan wrote “Hart Boys 8/3/19”, and I wrote “You’ll never get my late fees, Blockbuster!” I don’t have late fees, but I thought it would be funny. In some ways, I have never grown up.

We took a few pictures outside, and then we were back in the truck and heading home. The boys say it was a good last stop, and I agree. We make good time, eventually pulling in to our driveway 7 1/2 hours after we started. Or 30 days after we started, depending how you looked at it. Feeling both triumphant and extremely tired, I ooze out of my seat in the truck – now permanently showing my ass imprints from 30 days of driving in a row. The boys are already out and running through the garage door and into the house to greet their mom and their dogs – not necessarily in that order. By the time I am out of the truck, first Pono, and then my wife have greeted me in the driveway. I embrace my wife and my dog – not necessarily in that order – and go inside.

And that is it. We have done it. I have to admit that I am impressed with myself for doing it, even though right now it all seems to be a dream – everything blending together. At some point I will look back at the last 30 days and try to get a better sense of what we have done. The boys and I now have visited 49 states, and there is already talk of getting number 50 (Alaska) maybe next summer – after another epic road trip. I don’t know about that. Let me rest for a few days first.

I want to end this with a few thank yous. First and foremost, to my wife, Deborah. I’m sure it took a lot of nerve to let her husband take her two boys on a month-long trip without her. I know she (and we) were very disappointed that the New Orleans part of the trip fell through. She and I have already planned on an extended weekend on the Big Island before the summer is over (in three weeks!). We’re even thinking about squeezing in a little protesting while we’re there (No TMT!).

I also want to thank you, my avid reader, for following along with us. Like I said before, knowing people were following and reading about our exploits helped – at least for me – keep us going. I appreciate all the comments and messages of support.

I also want to say that you, too, should get out and visit other places. Earlier in this trip, we visited Mark Twain’s hometown, and it reminded me of one of my favorite Twain quotes:

” Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of our people need it sorely on these accounts. Broad, wholesome, charitable views of men and things cannot be acquired by vegetating in one little corner of the earth all one’s lifetime. “

I believe in that quote. I met people of all sorts of races, nationalities, religions, and political leanings. When you get right down to it, we’re all the same: fighting and scratching every day to make a living and to enjoy life. We have to be able to find common ground, even while the world around us might seem to be disintegrating before our very eyes.

I will be perfectly honest with you. The trip we did was expensive, and I know money is a huge barrier. But, you don’t have to go across the country to experience a different point of view. Many of us don’t venture very far from home ever, and I think that is a shame. Even when Deb and I were dirt poor, we always made travel a thing we would save for. Rent, food, and such were always priorities, but we also tried very hard to put a little something away for travel – whether it be a plane trip somewhere, or just a road trip to the coast (one hour away). I have always found that travel does a few very important things. One, you meet new and different people. Two, you see new terrain and vistas. The world is a beautiful place. Three, you challenge yourself by getting out of your comfort zone. Sometimes I feel that this is the most important. I have grown so much as a person by getting out of my comfort zone. Whether going to Japan without speaking the language (and standing a foot taller than most of it’s citizens), to exploring neighborhoods where we were the only white-ish people there – whether black or hispanic. I think you have to push yourself to be uncomfortable in order for you to grow. Anyway, that’s what I believe. I’ll get off my soapbox now and end this by just saying thank you. We made some great memories on this trip which I will never forget. How can you beat that?

Well, that’s it! Until next time…

I had a nice long post typed up and just now realized that I never posted it, and had actually deleted instead. I think I’m going insane. Too bad, too. It was an awesome post.

Instead you’re getting a very short version of it because it’s morning now and I want to get the hell out of Dodge.

Yesterday was a long drive day and everything went smoothly. Roughly 8+ hours of driving. Last night we pulled in to the same hotel we stayed at on night #1. We have come full circle.

The next post will be the last on this blog (for awhile at least). I want to thank you for reading. Knowing that you’re there has kept us going, and it’s actually been fun writing this.

Anyway, we’ve got to pack up and head home. It’s roughly 7 1/2 hours from Boise to Eugene. Thanks again for reading. I’m looking forward to typing my next post at home.

We left Bismarck later than we wanted to. Weariness and a definite case of procrastination was my problem. Then the boys were fighting, which led to me to finally lose it as well, and, like I said, we got out of town late.

Our destination was Bozeman, Montana. The truck was quiet as we drove down the highway, each of us stewing in our seats. It stayed that way for quite a while. And we had a ways to go today.

We didn’t have any plans to stop in North Dakota. Just drive and get home. But, I had realized the night before that we would basically drive right through a National Park: the Theodore Roosevelt National Park. As we got closer and closer, I started thinking about what this trip was about, seeing America, and after awhile I knew that we had to go. I didn’t say anything to the boys, and I just took the exit. We come up to the entrance and still, the boys are silent.

We enter the park and slowly drive, taking in the scenery. Typical National Park-the scenery is gorgeous. Then we come to a place where people have pulled over. In National Parks, this usually means something cool is up ahead. We park next to the other vehicles and I say, “Everybody out.”

At first we’re not sure what we’re looking at. Mounds of dirt scattered over an otherwise green field. Then I noticed a loud screeching which sounded like a flock of birds. That’s when I realize that we’re looking at a prairie dog colony. I spot the little critters popping out of their burrows, and squeaking at us. One would squeak, then another one would, all the while they are staring at us. It was freaking adorable!

Their cuteness was impossible to ignore as they scurried around, squeaking and standing on their hind legs to look at us. Once they figured we weren’t a threat, they scrambled around in a frenzy of business. I couldn’t tell you what they were doing, but it was fun to watch.

We eventually pile back into the truck, and the spell has been broken. Everyone is speaking again. We eventually spend more time than we than we have, driving around, looking for other wildlife. I told them about a story in the news that their mom had told me about. Apparently, some kid was gored by a bison (buffalo) here just last week, so I know there are bison here. We decided that we wanted to find them, so we drove on.

For awhile we saw absolutely nothing but gorgeous scenery. That’s nice, but we wanted bison. No luck. We spot an antelope off in the distance, but as we slow down, it spooks and runs away. The main loop road is closed due to a recent rockslide, so we turn around, slightly disappointed.

I’m slightly miffed that a park known for bison doesn’t have any today. Then, on our way out, we spot something far out in the distance. Large, dark brown, dusty figures, maybe a mile away. I slow down and point them out to the boys. Friggin’ bison, way out on the horizon. We can barely see them, but they’re there. Mission accomplished, sort of.

Before we leave the park, we spot a really cool thing. A small herd of wild horses had stopped to relax in a field just by the side of the road. I had never really seen wild horses before. They were beautiful.

We left the park in good spirits after entering mad at each other. I guess this is the power of nature. We decide to stop for lunch in an old west town just outside the park. While looking at the menu, I noticed that they serve bison burgers. Remembering how we basically didn’t see any in the park, I turn to the waiter and say, “I’ll have a bison burger please.” Screw you, damn bison.

One last thing:

• The park is dedicated to our former president, Teddy Roosevelt. Like most people, there are good and bad to be found in him. One of the good is how he started the National Park service by opening the first one, Yellowstone National Park. Sickly as a child, Roosevelt pushed himself to be physically fit, and the outdoors became a favorite part of his regimen. He hunted and fished and hiked all over this area in North Dakota, so it seemed fitting to name this park after him.
• One more thing: One of my favorite stories involving Roosevelt was the time he was running for President, late in his life. Rejected by the Republicans, he started his own party: the Bull Moose Party. As a third party candidate, he would get more votes than any other third party candidate in history. But for me, the real story is during campaigning. He had stopped in Wisconsin to give a speech, but as he left his hotel, a deranged man stepped out of the crowd and shot him once in the chest. The crowd jumped on the shooter and began pummeling him. They would’ve killed him had Roosevelt not stepped forward to stop them. “I want this man to stand trial.” The crowd handed the shooter over to the police. Roosevelt’s aides were concerned for his health, but Roosevelt insisted he was fine and continued on to deliver his speech. Apparently, the bullet had passed through an eyeglass case, and his folded up speech he had in his greasy pocket of his coat before lodging in his chest, just missing any vital organs. With the bullet still in him, he started the speech by telling everyone that he had just been shot, holding up the blood-stained speech. He then said, “Its going to take a lot more than that to stop a Bull Moose!”, and he gave his speech which was over an hour in length. Only then would he allow anyone to take him to the hospital. That, my friends, is a badass.

We didn’t make it all the way to Bozeman, but Boise is still our next goal, which means we have a lot of driving to do. Still, I’m glad we took the detour. See ya next time!

We did it! The boys and I have now visited our 49th state. One of our main goals at the beginning was to get to this point, and I must say that there is a deep sense of accomplishment. This trip was always so huge to really wrap my brain around and even now, I have to remind myself of all the things we’ve seen and done.

It was another drive day north to Fargo, then west to North Dakota’s capitol. In my mind, when I think of Fargo, I think of the movie by the Coen brothers. But there is no snow here today. It really looked like any midwestern agricultural town. The only strange thing someone said was a waitress at a 50’s style diner who pronounced root beer as “rut beer”. Oh well.

Next up on our way home is Montana. I expect clear sailing.

Some random things:

• Jamestown, North Dakota claims to have the largest bison (buffalo) ever at the National Buffalo Museum. They also claim to have a very rare “white buffalo.” This is the kind of place we would definitely have stopped at, but unfortunately, it was too late in the day to stop.
• For the most part we have not seen or heard much about politics on this trip. Certainly there are the bumper stickers for both sides, MAGA hats and the like. Frankly I’ve seen more t-shirts regarding the 2nd Amendment than any particular candidate. Only here and there have I picked up sly comments. One that sticks out was this nice little old lady running a gift shop in the Hannibal Museum. I was looking at a t-shirt with a Mark Twain quote that said something like “Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often, and for the same reason”. She came up behind me and said, “we got a big load in our diaper right now. ” At first this caught me off guard, and then we both laughed out loud. It was the funniest thing I’ve heard anyone say on this whole trip.
• The other day, as we were driving through Missouri, we passed through a town called Chillicothe. We were greeted by a large billboard sign proclaiming “Home of Sliced Bread”. I was interested in what this meant, but not enough to leave the highway to investigate. Later that night I googled the sign and I found an interesting story. Chillicothe’s claim to fame is that in 1928, the first machine-sliced bread was sold here by the Chillicothe Baking Company. The local newspaper had a front page article proclaiming this to be the “greatest forward step in the baking industry since bread was wrapped.” Not too long after, people started using the phrase “the greatest thing since sliced bread.” Without this invention, we also could never say that comic actress Betty White is “older than sliced bread.”

That’s all for now. Thanks for reading!

#49!

Today’s post is short and sweet. We set off from Hannibal and crossed through Missouri. A stop in St. Joseph and we turned north. We crossed the Missouri River into Omaha, Nebraska and took a break. We then crossed back over the river and drive north until we hit Sioux City for the night.

We had a group meeting and decided to skip Mt. Rushmore (a place we’ve visited before), and instead come straight home. Not going through South Dakota saves us two days (weird but true the way things were planned). Now, instead of our scheduled return on Monday, we’ll be back in Eugene early Saturday evening.

I cannot tell you how excited I am at getting home. This has been a great trip. I’m blown away by how much we’ve seen and done. But, I’m tired. The boys are fighting more, which means I’m angrier more. We have to get hone before the wheels come off!

Our next stop hopefully will be Bismarck, North Dakota. 7-8 hour drives from here on out to get home. Let’s do this!

Final words:

We would not have even planned on going to Mount Rushmore, if it wasn’t for Nathan. The last time that we came this way, Nathan was very excited about seeing what he called “the big heads of America.” I hadn’t realized how excited he actually was to see these giant heads carved into the mountain. So, when planning this trip, he asked if we could go again. I worked it in, but realized that in order to do so, we were going to have to do some driving acrobatics going from South Dakota up to North Dakota and back down again. There just weren’t very many options for doing that without adding an extra day. To make this change, it basically came down to Nathan giving the go ahead to skip the “giant heads of America. ” Thankfully, he agreed. I think he wants to get home earlier as well.

That’s it. I actually didn’t take a single picture today, so I will leave you with a picture from earlier in our trip. Peace!

This sign came from Eastern State Penitentiary. You can draw whatever conclusions you want from this.

Today we drove from Louisville, through Indiana, Illinois, and in to Missouri. No new states today. What is coming into view, though, is the finish line. This last part of the trip will hopefully go fast!

We drove through a pretty impressive thunderstorm while in southern Illinois. Storms in the midwest and the south are very impressive. As we were driving down the highway, I could see the storm up ahead. It was dark and ominous. As we got closer, I could see where the rain began. This reminded me of Hawai’i. I remember playing two-hand touch football in the street when I was a kid. You could tell you were about to get dumped on because you could see and hear the rain coming up the street. “Last touchdown wins!” we would yell. Then the game got serious as we strived to score one last time before the rain, coming slowly up the street, got to us. It’s a great memory, and one that I was reminded of as we drove into the storm. Also like in Hawai’i, when it rains – it rains. I almost had to pull over because there were times when I absolutely could not see a thing in front of me. It’s scary, but honestly, I love it. Dumb me!

It was clear and sunny when we pulled into Hannibal. Hannibal is a cool town located right on the Mississippi river. It is also the childhood home of one Samuel Langhorne Clemens – also known as Mark Twain. He lived here between the ages of 4 and 18 (1839-1857), and it is here that he drew many of his stories from his childhood remembrances. This was our stop for the day.

Twain’s childhood home has been restored and still stands just blocks away from the Mississippi. Right across the street lived his childhood sweetheart, Laura Hawkins, who would later become the inspiration for Becky Thatcher in Twain’s classic novel “Tom Sawyer”. A few blocks away was the home of his good friend Tom Blankenship – the inspiration for Huckleberry Finn.

Twain’s home is furnished with a mix of vintage items that may have been in the home, as well as actual artifacts from the Clemens’ home. It was all very well done. In each room was a statue of Twain as an old man, reflecting back on his childhood. This is based upon fact as Twain, now a famous author, returned to his hometown and visited his home one last time before his death. It was bittersweet, and the displays in the home reflect that. What’s bittersweet for us is to realize that life is different today than back then, and like Twain, we realize that our childhood remains in fleeting memories and feelings when we get older. It’s something we can never go back to but in our memories, but those memories can make us happy.

We toured the Hawkins’ home as well as Twain’s dad’s law office across the street from the Clemens home. A few blocks away was the Hannibal Museum which also houses a lot of Twain artifacts, and we toured this as well. It was a nice end to a day of driving, and thank goodness, with no drama whatsoever!

Some notes:

• It was brought to my attention while touring the Clemens home that neither boy had read a SINGLE story or book by Twain that they could remember. No Tom Sawyer? No. NO HUCK FINN? No. “Your teachers should be arrested!” I exclaimed. They didn’t understand what the big deal was. Nathan: “Was he a good writer?” Me (incredulously): “One of America’s best ever!” Nolan: “I’ve heard of him…but never read anything by him.” Me: Shakes my head and walks away. I can’t even…
• I teach several short stories by Twain and the novel “Huckleberry Finn” to my junior classes. One of the displays we saw was how controversial “Finn” continues to be to this day. The biggest detractors use Twain’s use of the “N-Word” as an example of why we shouldn’t still teach the book. I disagree. As I told one student who felt uneasy, “Does this word make you uncomfortable? Yes? Then that’s good. That word should never be easy to hear or say. This is what Twain grew up with, and so did the slaves who lived in his home. Later in life, this word, which Twain didn’t think much of, became a much heavier symbol of what some people went through everyday of their lives. It made them uncomfortable too. No one should be comfortable with that word ever again.”
• Once, a book in our school district was challenged. It was a 5th grade novel called “Roll of Thunder, Hear My Cry”. It was about the experiences of people during the time of slavery. I, a high school teacher, was one of those asked to speak before the determining panel. I spoke words very similar to the ones I told the student above. I added that the word is a heavy word, full of meaning, feelings, and POWER. To cut this word out, when used in context, is a shame. You take away the power of that word to disgust and horrify, and by sanitizing the word, we ignore the reality of people then and now. Don’t know if I made a difference, but the challenge was dismissed.
• Here is a very powerful poem by black poet Countee Cullen about the N-Word and it’s effects: http://holyjoe.org/poetry/cullen.htm

Well, that’s it for now. Today we drive north and west. Should make Iowa by late afternoon. Have a great day!

Yesterday’s post was the most viewed post so far on this trip. It was actually amazing how many people were touched by it. I didn’t aim to touch heartstrings or rile up the anger in some. I just wanted to capture what happened in order to make sense of it in my own head. To be clear, I was not overly proud of my actions. It was so hard to keep myself under control. Few people know that although I seem laid back, I can get fired up – and not in a good way. It’s something I’ve worked on my entire life, and when something like what happened at Cedar Point, I spend a good amount of time reviewing the situation, going over different reactions and scenarios, and gauging my overall reaction. Getting angry uses so much energy, it’s usually easier to just avoid it whenever possible.

Then again, Tyler. He was the young man who upset me the most with his “too bad, so sad” attitude. Also, Herbert, even though he ultimately did the right thing, at first was resistant to seeing a different point of view. My question of whether or not he was a parent wasn’t a dig in any way. I simply was trying to appeal to something he might not have understood – the other side. I apologized for my anger, but if Herbert made it clear that he understood the subtlety of the situation, he might understand the passion behind it.

Anyway, I really appreciate the response from all of you. I had more comments, all positive, than ever before. I know what I did, but it feels good to hear that others are out there who felt what I did was okay. So, thank you!

Today was a driving day. In fact, most of the rest of this trip will be simply checking off states from our list. We’ve visited many of the states which remain. For me, it’s just Iowa and North Dakota (to reach 49). For the boys, it’s one other (Nebraska).

We drove into Michigan, then headed south through Indiana, and then parked it in Louisville for the night. The overall feeling in the truck now is “let’s get this done”. I’m in that camp as well. It’s been a long trip. We are all now dreaming of home. Deborah and the dogs are the things missed most amongst all of us.

Nothing much happened today, which was totally fine. With Indiana, we are actually back to familiar terrain – farmlands and rural communities. I didn’t take any pictures, which pretty much summed up the day overall.

Some final notes:

• In Kentucky, we’ve noticed that some KFC’s have a buffet option. A KFC buffet sounds appealing to me, but we didn’t stop to try it out.
• Indianapolis is a larger city that I thought it was. Somewhere around 900,000 people live there. Who knew?
• I’m finding that listening to Audible books is better at keeping me alert than music. It’s not my favorite way to “read” a book, but it is turning into a lifesaver for me on this trip. Thanks Deb!
• There are a ton of Dunkin’ Donuts out east. More than in the west, it seems. Maybe it’s just because Eugene has so few (it seems). I don’t know, but the boys mentioned it as well.
• We got into our hotel in Toledo last night, and realize we are right next to a strip club. There was another one just down the street. Thanked Deborah for putting us so close to it when she booked our hotel. We both agreed that there would be no height limits for that ride! (Her joke, not mine). 🙂
• My body hurts. It was hurting from all the sitting anyway, but after the amusement park, my back, neck, and shoulders are all sore. I think it has something to do with getting old. I don’t know. What I do know is that a couple of the rides at Cedar Point absolutely killed me. In general, it was the older, jerkier, less smooth ones. Those killed me the most. The newer ones are remarkably smooth. I’ve decided not to tell Nathan that there might be an age limit as well as a height limit…

Again, thank you so much for joining us on our trip. It’s really fun knowing people are following this blog. It feels as if you’re all on this trip with us. Wish you really were! Think of how fun that would be!

The day started with excitement and high hopes. That excitement turned to disappointment, anger, and a threat to have a certain member of our family escorted out of an amusement park by police. But don’t worry. This story has a happy ending…

This story really starts about a year ago. We had taken a quick trip at the end of summer to Disneyland. Our cross-country road trip was actually planned for last year, but people’s schedules and unforseen events caused me to pull the plug and save it for this year. So, we didn’t have a summer trip planned. This is a first for us. We always try to go somewhere. Camping, flying somewhere, road trips – we always do something. So last summer we made the drive to southern California for a weekend at Disneyland. It was fun, but Nathan, my youngest, had an epiphany. It came after a ride on Space Mountain. The ride was not fun. 14 years old at the time, Nathan, who had grown to almost 6′ 5″, did not fit in the ride comfortably (something I’ve had to deal with since I was his age!). In fact, the ride actually hurt. Afterwards, Nathan was despondent: What if I grew to be too big to ever ride roller coasters again!?!

Later, at home, Nathan asked me a question: “Are there any amusement parks at any of the places we might be going to next summer? It might be the last time I ever get to ride roller coasters.” A little overly dramatic, I thought to myself, but then I realized that hey, this might actually be a problem! Immediately I searched my plans for our trip and then realized we were driving right by not only an amusement park, but one of THE amusement parks in the United States, with some of the MOST exciting roller coasters in the country: Cedar Point Amusement Park in Sandusky, Ohio. It is just an hour’s drive from Cleveland, and so at that moment, it became a part of our trip. Nathan was excited, and it became apparent that this was going to be his “farewell tour” to something he loves: roller coasters.

Flash forward to Day 23 of our road trip. It’s Saturday, so we know we should get there early. Only thing is, the park doesn’t open until 10:00 am – plenty of time for late risers to get there at the park’s opening. Sure enough, as we are about to hit our exit from the freeway to the park, the line of traffic begins. By the time we hit the parking lot, it’s 10:20. It took us 45 minutes to go 6 miles from freeway to parking lot. Then, there were lines to go through metal detectors (a very common thing on this entire trip, by the way), lines to have our tickets read, and lines to get our fast pass bracelets (which I had to pay extra for – but this was Nathan’s farewell tour, so I decided money was not going to be a barrier today for having some serious fun). Finally, it’s 10:54, but we are headed to our first ride of the day.

Now, because our son continues to grow, I knew that some of the rides had a height limit of 6′ 6″. I saw that online. We measured him before we left, and he was just a hair over 6′ 6″. “You’ll be fine, ” I assured him. This statement comes from years of going to amusement parks and seeing little kids clearly under the height limit get on rides. But this was a max-height limit. You don’t see those too often at these parks. Well, we are about to get seated in our first ride, when we are pulled aside by park personnel. “You guys look too tall. Please come over here and stand next to the sign.” At first they said, “You guys are too tall.” Now, I’m 6′ 5″. Have been most of my life. I’m also almost 52 years old. I KNOW that I have stopped growing, and I am not 6′ 6″! To top it off, Nolan is only 6′ 4″. So, I disputed this. They called in someone else to look at us. This time, only Nathan was too tall. Like I said, by a hair – maybe a 1/4 inch. Nope, he can’t ride. Okay, I can feel my blood pressure beginning to rise. I tell them that I measured him before we left. He’s 6′ 6″. The lady sends us back down to the front of the line where there is a “test seat”. If he fits in that well, then he’s okay. I protest, but finally decide to have him sit in the seat back at the entrance to the ride.

We get there, and Nathan sits in the seat. He fits perfectly fine. The park personnel at the test seat says, “You’re good for all the rides here.” Sweet. We go back up to the front, and they say, okay, you can ride. We again are about to get into the ride when we are pulled aside again, this time by the “ride manager”. We’ll call him Tyler – because his name is Tyler. “You can’t get on this ride,” he says. “That one is too tall,” pointing at Nathan. Oh, COME ON! Once again we are pulled out. I tell Tyler about already being told he’s too tall, going down to the “test seat”, being told he’s fine, etc. “We’ve already been through all of this and we’ve been told he’s okay.” Nope. Measure him again. Well, crap. We already know he is technically taller than their line. Again, I tell him what we’ve already been through. Doesn’t matter, he tells me. I’m the “ride manager”. I decide who gets to ride my ride. Now my blood is beginning to boil.

Tyler has Nathan take his shoes off and stand at the measuring line. Still a hair over 6′ 6″. “Nope, he’s too tall. He can’t ride.” Now, I look at Nathan, and he is beginning to tear up. He looks away so I can’t see, but it doesn’t matter. Now I can’t see. My blood has boiled over. I look down at Tyler, who is probably 5′ 6″, and I’m pretty sure I’m not looking too happy at this point. “Look,” I say. “We have driven 1,500 miles from Oregon, and I have spent a ton of money so that we can ride these rides. We measured him. He’s not too tall. I want someone to bring a tape measure and measure him. Your sign is wrong!” I know this is absurd, and when they measure him, I’m sure he’ll still be technically too tall. But I spent a lot of money, dammit, and not only that, but my son has been dreaming about this for over a year! Tyler then says the wrong thing: “I don’t have any way of measuring him. The sign is accurate, and I’M SAYING that he is not going to ride my ride. Maybe you can take him down to the Kiddie rides. They might have something to measure him there.” My reply is not suitable for young children. Let’s just say that I happened to use a whole rainbow of language to explain my displeasure. People standing nearby all take a step away from the large irate man. To Tyler’s credit, he doesn’t flinch. He just says, if you want, you can go to Customer Services at the front of the park and talk to someone there. I realize that this is not the time or place to continue this, so I say okay.

We get to Customer Services and are very polite explaining our issue. The lady is very nice and asks us to head into another room. Someone will come to talk to us. The room is air-conditioned and there are free bottles of water there. Probably designed this place for hot-heads like me.

We wait, probably 15 minutes. Nathan once again tears up as I talk about our options, one of which is to ask for a refund and leave. In my mind I’m going through other cities yet to come on our trip, and which ones have amusement parks: Louisville has one. So does St. Louis. But, I look up at my son crying, and I start to tear up too. That loud breaking sound is my heart falling to pieces for my son. This is all my fault. I brought him here and put him through this humiliation. It is all my fault. Then Herbert comes in.

Herbert reminds me of Jesse Tyler Ferguson who plays Mitchell on Modern Family. He is polite. I explain our problem. He confirms that ride managers are in control of who rides and who doesn’t. But your system is flawed, I said. Among other things, nobody could explain why my son was either a) in danger, or b) in what way 1/4″ made a difference. Tyler actually said that some rides have height limits on whether harnesses can fit, or their legs fit in the rides etc. I asked Tyler why they don’t measure people’s torsos or legs then, because everyone is different. Tyler had said it didn’t matter. Herbert agreed with Tyler. It didn’t matter. Okay, I’m not getting anywhere here. I ask about a full refund. We hadn’t even ridden one ride yet. Can’t do it, he says. There are 72 other rides here. He can ride most of them. Just not the 5 or 6 that have height limits. Here is where I can feel my blood beginning to rise again.

“Look,” I say. I go back over how we’ve driven here from Oregon, just to come and see this park, to ride those rides. We spent a buttload of money to enjoy ourselves here, and I’m beginning to feel that this whole thing is based on the arbitrary whims of some 24-year old who may or may not be having a bad day. This was ridiculous. We came here specifically to ride those rides which he can’t ride now. I want at least a partial refund for the fast passes.

This is what I said, more or less, and without swearing this time! But, apparently, my volume was slowly rising so that at the end, Herbert put his hand in the air, and when I had stopped, said,”Sir, if you raise your voice again, I will have you escorted out of the park by the police.” UUGGHHH! You have got to be kidding me. Wouldn’t it be great if this is how our day ends – with me getting escorted out by the Po-Po.

Okay, I said, I will keep it down. I tell him the truth: I am this boy’s father. Are you a father? No. Well, I look at him crying here, and it breaks my heart. I’m just trying to defend him here. He has been humiliated, and he has had his heart broken. I tell him they’re just roller coaster rides, but I know how much this trip has meant to him. And for all of this to be taken away because of 1/4″ just makes me mad and sad for him. Whatever. Apparently Herbert has a change of heart. He says he needs to talk to someone to see what he can do. Okay. We wait.

He comes back and says, basically, that they will refund our fast passes (which were more than half of the amount we paid for the day). Not only that, but he comped our food passes and upgraded them to all day dining passes. He says we can keep the fast passes for the rides we are able to ride on, but if Nathan wants to ride the rides that are 6′ 6″ or shorter, he’s going to have to go back to the first ride and get measured again – this time by Herbert. I object. I don’t want Nathan to have to go through all that again, just to be told he can’t ride. Herbert is firm: it’s either that, or he can’t ride. Finally, I ask Nathan, and he says he wants to get measured again. Okay then. Let’s go.

As we’re going out of the office, Herbert slips me another wad of certificates. “These are Exit passes,” he said. “This allows you to just go up to the exit of any ride in the park and skip the lines. Even the fast pass lines. You have enough for two rides each.” Well, Herbert is starting to look a little better in my eyes!

We get to the ride, called the “Gatekeeper”, and Nathan takes his shoes off. I mutter under my breath to him, “slouch.” He goes up there, and I SWEAR he looks even taller now! Like 6′ 7″! Jeez. Oh well, I think to myself. No rides for him. Nope. Herbert comes over and says, “he’s close enough. I’m going to allow him to ride all the rides here.” What!?! Herbert says he will call each of the ride managers and tell them the situation, and if we have any problems, tell them Herbert said it was okay. Well alright Herbert! I then see him going over to Tyler and talk to him. He comes back and says it’s been taken care of and we can get on this ride right now if we want. I look at Nathan and he nods, yes. Okay then, let’s go! We get into our seats, and none other than Tyler comes to lock us in. Now I’m feeling bad for Tyler for swearing at him. I’m also a little nervous that Tyler is our last barrier between safety and gruesome death. Tyler comes over to buckle me in. “Hey man, I’m sorry for swearing at you.” “No problem,” he says. “No, really, it was not cool of me.” He finishes buckling me in, and walks away, never once looking me in my eye. Oh well. It’s been a nice life…

We survive that ride, and we spend many more hours riding all the rides. We don’t leave until we’ve ridden everything we wanted to, and we were too exhausted to ride anymore. The boys both told me that they had a blast today. Sorry for all the “hassles”. I’m not sure who hassled whom. Not my finest moment as a human being, but one of my best moments as a dad. “Thank you for fighting for me,” says Nathan at the end of the day. “You’re the best.” Okay, maybe just this once, it was okay to be a raving lunatic I guess.

Some side notes:

• At no other ride today were we ever asked to measure ourselves because we were too tall. No one ever mentioned it. We never saw anybody get measured all day. That’s what I mean about arbitrary. 6′ 6″ should be a firm rule – it should not sit on the whims of one person.
• The top three rides, in order of greatness were: #1 Steel Vengeance, #2 Top-Thrill Dragster, #3 Raptor. Of those, Top-Thrill was the scariest, but it was only 17 seconds long. Steel Vengeance was a classic roller coaster (but with corkscrews), it was around 3 minutes long, and it seemed like you spent 2 of those minutes out of your seat. It truly was a thrill ride, and therefore it got #1 unanimously amongst us.

All in all, it was a stressful, tiring, but ultimately fun day. I didn’t get arrested, and Nathan got his farewell tour. On to the next place!

I hardly took any photos today, but I here is a video of the Top-Thrill Dragster. It was as scary as it looks: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q-CD6misY40

That’s it for today. We’re heading through Michigan, Indiana, and finish hopefully in Louisville, Kentucky. Until then, have a great day Motherf#*$&#rs!

Today we got out early and drove 20 miles from just outside Buffalo to Niagara Falls, New York. One of the must-sees on this trip, I also knew this place could be a tourist trap. I was determined to not spend any money here, which meant we weren’t going to do any touristy stuff. That was okay because we didn’t have much time to spend here anyway. We visited the free visitor center and went to the free viewing spot of the American Falls.

Niagara Falls is basically two separate falls: American Falls, and Horseshoe Falls. The Horseshoe is on the Canadian side. Seems to me they also have a better view from that side. We didn’t do the Maid of the Mists boat ride, or the Cave of Winds (or whatever it’s called). I saved those for another day when I do this place like a proper tourist – and with my jealous wife.

The highlight of the day was later as we drove from Niagara to Cleveland, Ohio. Here, we visited the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Cleveland and rock have had a life-long connection, so it seems fitting that the Hall would be located here.

The second pyramid which we have visited (remember the redneck pyramid back in Memphis?), the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame juts into the sky, overlooking a giant (and climbable) sign which read: LONG LIVE ROCK. The boys and I were excited to get started!

Inside there are, as you would imagine, artifacts from the history of rock and roll. Instruments from famous artists, costumes they wore, and of course, the music. Starting with the beginning – blues, gospel, country, folk – the museum went through the life and times of rock and roll. Full of ups and downs and things in between, it was easy to see how one could become addicted to the attention celebrities can get. It was also easy to see how some may become lonely, susceptible to the influence of shady others, and ultimately, professional self-destructives.

Aside from seeing the usual suspects (Elvis, the Beatles, etc.), it was cool to see some of my other favorite artists. My favorite things to see are the hand-written notes from famous musicians detailing the lyric writing process for some of the most famous songs. As someone who teaches writing (including poetry), I was always fascinated to see the creative process, crossed out words and all.

It was, all in all, a fun day, which was nice after yesterday’s unhapppiness. I expect what’s next to be equally as fun. We are heading to Cedar Point Amusement Park (about an hour from Cleveland) where we will spend the day riding some of America’s gnarliest roller coasters. You’ll hear all about it – if we (mostly I) survive!

Okay. That’s all for now. Got to go ride some rollercoasters. More on the Hall of Fame later. For now, here’s a preview of what’s on tap today in Sandusky, Ohio:

Millenium Force: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MybcORGVkEU

A ways back, I think it was around Birmingham, I mentioned that there were some cracks appearing in the individuals on our trip. Last night, and today, those cracks became volcanic fissures that spewed forth and heated things up a bit. To basically be spending 24/7 with the same people for 20 days is bound to catch up with anyone. Bickering and fighting between brothers led to dad getting involved, and then no one is happy. I realized that my patience for such nonsense has completely disappeared. Deep breaths.

The problem with a road trip is that no one can go anywhere to get away. Eventually, we all have to pile back into the truck and drive somewhere. And by drive somewhere, we are at least several days away from home, even if we drove all day, every day. When we piled into the truck this morning, it was quiet since no one was really in the mood to talk to anyone. For me, I found my directions for our next stop, turned up the music, and just drove. I knew that eventually, people will come along (including myself), and again, because we’re stuck with each other, we were going to have to speak to each other eventually. 🙂

Our first stop of the day was also our main stop for the day. We drove to Cooperstown, New York to see the National Baseball Hall of Fame. As a kid, and even into my adulthood, I have wanted to see this place. I just never thought I would ever be even in the neighborhood to think about going there. Then, a few days ago, as I’m looking at how to spend the extra day or two we picked up by cutting New Orleans out of our plans, I realized that we would actually be in the neighborhood, so to speak. So, this being a road trip, I made a command decision, and off we went.

Frankly, Cooperstown is in the middle of nowhere. Upstate New York is definitely not as populated as the rest of New York, and Cooperstown is tucked away in a valley, almost not visible until you turn on to Main street. The town looks like it’s straight out of a Norman Rockwell painting. Nicely manicured lawns in front of houses sporting American flags from their front porches. Everything is green. Families are everywhere.

We parked a few blocks away from the Baseball Hall of Fame, and walked up the street. Like how Salem, Massachusetts has embraced it’s witchy background, Cooperstown has fully embraced the fact that people are here for baseball. For me, just being there elevated my spirits – reminding me of the things that made me happy as a kid.

Of course, as I noticed kids (boys and girls) walking with their moms and dads, excited to see the Hall of Fame, all decked-out in their baseball/softball uniforms, the irony wasn’t lost on me that my two boys were still silent and sullen from the morning’s fireworks. But, as we got closer, I noticed that they got more excited, and were downright chatterboxes as we entered the building.

Now, my experiences with playing baseball ended with Little League. I sucked. I’m not really sure I ever even enjoyed myself. But, I have always been a competitive person, and sports – any sport – is better than most other things. Even though I was never any good, I was always a fan. I have remained a fan, though I have to admit that I don’t watch the games as often as i used to. The game is slow, leisurely, and life for me has been too hectic for me to really enjoy watching a game in its entirety anymore. Still, I found myself excited as well to explore this place.

The Hall is amazing. Lots of informative displays, great memorabilia, and a general reverence for the game which was palpable as soon as you entered. I went slowly, reading everything. The boys, feigning interest (neither are baseball fans), eventually left me to my own devices, and they went exploring at their own pace, which was much faster than mine.

I pored over Babe Ruth’s uniform, Willie Mays’ glove, and many other revered artifacts from baseball history. Seeing Roberto Clemente’s jersey reminded me of the sad story I read years ago about how, just months after he had his 3,000th hit, the pride of Puerto Rico was killed in a plane crash while on a humanitarian trip bringing aid packages to Managua, Nicaragua, which had been hit by a devastating earthquake. Then I saw the seven hats Nolan Ryan (my favorite player as a kid) wore when he threw his record 7 no-hitters. I was a happy person once again!

Afterwards, I caught up with the boys at the end of the exhibits and hour and a half later, and found them to be in equally good spirits. A miracle! Baseball does it again!

We got back into the truck, joking and having a good time, and drove to our destination for the night: Buffalo, New York. We had dinner locally at the Anchor Bar, whose claim to fame is that this supposedly is the place where buffalo wings was invented. Either way, the newspaper clippings on the wall declare that they are consistently voted best wings in Buffalo, so there’s that. The wings were really good, and again, everyone was happy. I guess baseball and buffalo wings are good enough to cure any bad mood. Of course, yesterday we toured Ben & Jerry’s, and I would’ve thought that ice cream would have also done the trick. Oh well. Anyway, here are the pictures:

Some final thoughts for the day:

• Although I don’t catch very many games on TV anymore, baseball still holds an important place in my heart. When I first moved to Eugene, Oregon to attend the University of Oregon, I was dismayed that they didn’t have a baseball team. The city did have a minor league baseball team, the Emeralds (short season Single-A, affiliated at the time with the Kansas City Royals). Then, in the summer of 1989, I got a job working at Civic Stadium as the first ever BBQ cook (I had listed that I had prior experience as a BBQ cook – I just didn’t tell them that it was all on a small Hibachi). It was there that I met a pretty stand manager who was constantly scolding me for stealing cups from her stand (and some soda). That, of course would be Deborah. 30 years later (Hey I just realized it’s our 30th anniversary of meeting each other!), and we’re still together (married 28 of those years!).
• My first favorite baseball player that I can remember is Nolan Ryan. He is why I’m a Los Angeles Angels fan to this day. I remember reading an article on how Ryan held the record for the fastest pitch ever recorded (over 100 mph!). This fascinated me, and throughout the 1970’s, I followed his career. At the time he was a member of the Angels, hence, I became an Angels fan.
• In the summer of 1999, five years after his retirement, Nolan Ryan was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame. Just weeks later, my first son was born: Nolan Kala Hart. Coincidence? I think not (thank goodness Deborah liked the name too!)
• Quick trivia: The tallest baseball player ever is Jon Rauch (6′ 11″). The shortest ever was Eddie Gaedel (3′ 7″). Gaedel was actually a publicity stunt. Hired to bring more fans to the games, Gaedel came up to bat once, and walked.
• More trivia: The oldest person to play a Major League game was Satchel Paige. The old former Negro League player made his debut in 1948 at the age of 42 (still a record for oldest rookie player ever). In 1965, the then 59 year old Paige came in and pitched three scoreless innings for the then Kansas City A’s. “If you keep moving, old age can’t catch you, ” he later said. The youngest person ever to play was Joe Nuxhall, who was 15 years old when, just days after school let out, the 6′ 3″ ninth-grader signed with the Cincinnati Reds in 1944. World War II had decimated the big leagues of players, and the Reds, like everyone else, was looking anywhere and everywhere for players. Nuxhall made his debut, pitching 2/3 scoreless innings of a blowout game before being released. He would eventually return and play for 16 seasons.

Well, that’s it for today. I think I’m slowing down because this is yet another post finished a day later. It’s just getting harder to write this after a day full of sight-seeing and mostly driving. Thanks for reading this! Knowing people are following us makes it easier to keep going! Hope you have a great day!